What is Autistic Burnout? Why It Matters? How Can We Recover?

Autistic burnout is as undeniable as the air we breathe, profoundly impacting many of us autistics at different times in our lives. This state of exhaustion is not merely a fleeting sense of tiredness; it is a tangible and complex experience affecting various aspects of our lives. When one is engulfed in the throes of autistic burnout, the signs are starkly visible. This phenomenon is not just an abstract concept; it involves a combination of physical, emotional, and mental fatigue that is noticeable in distressing ways, which makes it puzzling why it isn't recognised diagnostically and is often overlooked by healthcare professionals. On top of that, one can actually see the difference in our physical state during autistic burnout. For instance, signs of extreme fatigue may include a slumped posture, altered facial expressions, lethargy, heightened sensory sensitivities, loss of basic skills, or a lack of energy that no amount of sleep would alleviate, indicating the toll on our wellbeing. It is an overwhelming sensation that can drain our very essence needed to function in our daily lives.

In fact, when we experience the full force of autistic burnout, the emotional and mental impact on our wellbeing can be staggering, especially when those around us lack understanding, resulting in feelings of isolation, frustration, and even despair. To illustrate the gravity of this experience, I assert that autistic burnout is as real as oxygen. While we cannot see air without scientific tools, we are acutely aware of its presence through the vital act of inhalation and exhalation. Our bodies rely on oxygen to generate energy, and without it, we would cease to exist. Similarly, when experiencing autistic burnout, it can feel as though we are suffocating under the weight of our own existence. The very act of taking a breath can feel like an insurmountable task, as if each breath requires an overwhelming amount of energy that we simply do not possess. In this analogy, gasping for oxygen symbolises the state of being during autistic burnout, making even the simplest tasks a struggle. The fatigue is so intense that it evokes feelings of hopelessness, leading us to contemplate whether existence is worth the effort.

Understanding Autistic Burnout: Breathless in the Sea of exhaustion

Just as we instinctively seek air when deprived, in the midst of autistic burnout, we desperately search for relief and restoration. The sensation is like gasping for breath as oxygen levels plummet; it feels like floundering in a sea of exhaustion, with no clear path to recovery, and the sole focus is on how to get to the surface before we drown in our own exhaustion. This struggle is isolating, as it seems like no one else can truly grasp the depth of our experience, turning the effort to function into an all-consuming battle. The exhaustion is not just physical; it seeps into our cognitive processes, leaving our thoughts muddled and diminishing our ability to engage with the world. It is a relentless cycle of fatigue that drains energy, steals our motivation in broad daylight, and saps our will to interact with others.

Autistic burnout is notoriously difficult to encapsulate in a brief statement, yet I will attempt to convey its essence. For me, autistic burnout feels like my body and mind cannot catch up with my willpower. It is as if my desires and ambitions are trapped within a shell that refuses to cooperate, creating a disconnect between what I want to do and what I am physically and mentally capable of achieving. I have the will to engage in my usual routines, but the energy to act is painfully absent. This mismatch leads to a deep sense of frustration and helplessness, as I find myself unable to bridge the gap between intention and action.

Autistic burnout feels like being suffocated by the weight of one's own existence, making even the simple act of breathing seem like an insurmountable task.

During autistic burnout, the impact can vary significantly among individuals. Some may struggle to communicate in ways that society deems acceptable, while others experience sensory overload, leading to intense panic and disorientation. Emotions become a chaotic whirlwind, filled with anxiety and depression. Autistic individuals often feel as though a fog is constantly looming, unable to find a way out, leading to a pervasive sense of isolation. Personally, I find even the simplest tasks become monumental challenges. Activities that once brought joy or fulfilment seem impossible, and the very thought of engaging in any sensory-related experience induces anxiety. My usual lifeline of curiosity and knowledge progressively fades as if it never existed. Social interactions become taxing and overwhelming, prompting me to withdraw and retreat into solitude. The emotional landscape during these times is marked by a great sense of loss, as I wrestle with the fading of my identity, loss of skills, and the feeling of being trapped within my own limitations.

In brief, autistic burnout is a complex experience that demands immediate recognition and understanding, rather than waiting for sufficient research to validate our lived experiences. Autistic burnout is a state that significantly impacts our physical, emotional, and mental health, making it crucial to recognise its reality and the challenges it poses for autistics. Just as oxygen is vital for our survival, those of us experiencing autistic burnout need fundamental understanding, support, and self-care strategies for recovery to manage the challenges that arise. Recognising the reality of autistic burnout is mandatory in creating a truly informed and inclusive society. We must insist on awareness and appreciation as basics, acknowledging the daunting reality faced by autistic individuals.

It is as if my desires and ambitions are trapped within a shell that refuses to cooperate, creating a disconnect between what I want to do and what I am physically and mentally able to achieve.

Why Autistic Burnout Matters?

Because autistic burnout is a soul-sapping experience that is inevitable for autistic individuals in an allistic society; it deserves greater attention and understanding. This burnout goes beyond a transient state of fatigue; it is a profound and often debilitating experience that can leave us feeling drained, overwhelmed, and disconnected from ourselves and the world. The reality is that we did not sign up for this struggle, nor can we predict when it will strike. It often arrives unexpectedly, catching us off guard during moments when we are already navigating the complexities of daily life in an environment that frequently misunderstands or neglects our needs.

This autism-specific experience is marked by a significant lack of awareness and understanding among the general population. Many allistics are unaware of the unique challenges faced by autistic individuals, making it a road only comprehensible after it has been experienced. We must raise our voices and advocate for change in schools, workplaces, medical settings, government institutions, and society as a whole. Raising awareness is essential to ensure genuine societal recognition and support for the challenges we encounter. By doing this, we can work towards making autistic burnout less daunting and isolating for those of us who experience it, creating a ripple effect for those close to us.

The experience of autistic burnout is closely linked to an individual's neurological makeup, leading to considerable variation from one person to another. Each person may respond differently to the stressors and demands of an allistic world, making the path through burnout complex and multifaceted. Overcoming this challenging process demands time, effort, patience, and a commitment to self-understanding. Ultimately, recovering from autistic burnout is not a straightforward path; it involves a series of steps that require introspection and self-discovery.

Autistic burnout is a soul-sapping experience that is inevitable for autistic individuals in an allistic society; it warrants greater attention and understanding.

As we go through burnout, we gain valuable insights into ourselves and our limitations. We start to pinpoint the cumulative causes that led to our ultimate demise, whether they are stressful events, poor environments, social pressures, sensory overload, or the constant need to mask our true selves to conform to societal norms. By recognising these triggers and understanding their impacts on our wellbeing, we can internalise these lessons and learn to create a world that truly matters to us. This process of learning and adaptation is vital not only for our recovery but also essential for building a more inclusive society where autistic individuals are understood, valued, and supported.

The fight against autistic burnout is not merely a personal battle; it is a call for collective action. We must strive to create an environment where awareness, understanding, and support are prioritised, ensuring that autistic individuals can thrive rather than just survive in an allistic society.

Why Is an Advanced Society Struggling to Acknowledge Autistic Burnout?

Man flu is not exactly a diagnosable condition that debilitates all humankind, yet society readily acknowledges it, despite it not truly deserving such recognition. This phenomenon, often seen in men exaggerating symptoms of a common cold or flu, has become a cultural trope that has gained traction in society and many find it amusing and relatable. It reflects a stereotype of masculinity and vulnerability, portraying men as less capable of handling minor illnesses. It is important to note that while man flu affects only a small subset of the population, society often jokes about it, giving it undue significance that it frankly does not deserve. The humour surrounding man flu tends to trivialise the real experiences of illness and pain, leading to a societal tendency to dismiss the seriousness of genuine health issues.

So why do we as a society readily accept and even normalise the concept of man flu while simultaneously struggling to recognise and validate the reality of autistic burnout? Autistic burnout is a state of physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion that can occur in autistic individuals, resulting from the cumulative stress of navigating a world that often feels overwhelming and unaccommodating. Unlike the flippant nature of man flu, autistic burnout is a serious and debilitating experience that can impact individuals of all ages, genders, and races, yet it remains largely misunderstood and under-discussed. It encompasses a range of symptoms, including extreme fatigue, increased sensory sensitivities, emotional dysregulation, and a significant decline in functioning. The causes of autistic burnout often arise from the increasing strain of the allistic environment that is not tailored to the needs of neurodiverse individuals, where unjust treatments, social interactions, sensory overload, and the pressure to conform to societal norms can become overwhelming.

The narrative surrounding man flu often perpetuates gender stereotypes, where emotional vulnerability in men is seen as a weakness, while the struggles of autistic individuals—who may be of any gender—are often marginalised. This imbalance in societal recognition highlights a broader issue of how we value different experiences of suffering and resilience. It raises important questions about empathy and awareness, urging us to examine why certain experiences receive more attention and validation than others.

The lack of recognition for autistic burnout can be attributed to several factors. One significant issue is the pervasive misunderstanding of autism itself. Many people still hold outdated or simplistic views about what it means to be autistic, often focusing solely on the more visible traits and behaviours rather than acknowledging the internal struggles that many autistic individuals face. This limited perspective can lead to the minimisation of the challenges associated with autistic burnout, as it is frequently misunderstood or overlooked entirely.

Another possible explanation for this discrepancy lies in the visibility and societal perception of these conditions. "Man flu", with its humorous connotations, is often portrayed in media and popular culture, leading to a shared understanding that allows for easy recognition and discussion. In contrast, autism or autistic burnout is not visible and is often cloaked in stigma, leading to a lack of awareness and understanding among the general public. Many people may not even be aware that autistic burnout exists, let alone the profound impact it can have on those who experience it.

Why does society easily accept and normalise the idea of "man flu" while having difficulty acknowledging and validating the reality of autistic burnout?

Furthermore, societal attitudes towards mental health and neurodiversity are still evolving. While there has been progress in recent years regarding the acceptance of mental health issues, there remains a stigma associated with discussing the complexities of neurodivergent experiences, and autistic burnout remains on the fringes of this dialogue. This can be attributed to a variety of factors, including the historical marginalisation of autistic voices and experiences, a lack of representation in mainstream discussions about mental health, and the pervasive myths and misconceptions surrounding autism itself. Autistic burnout, which can manifest similarly to depression or anxiety, may be dismissed as mere fatigue or laziness rather than being recognised as a serious condition that warrants understanding and support. This is certainly my personal experience, where medical professionals dismissed my request for help with autistic burnout. They spent a total of five minutes to misdiagnose it as depression and subsequently anxiety, and quickly offered me antidepressants.

The societal tendency to minimise or dismiss the experiences of autistic individuals can contribute to the lack of recognition of autistic burnout. The stereotype of the "high-functioning" autistics can lead to the erroneous belief that we are not susceptible to burnout or that our struggles are less valid than those of individuals with more visible disabilities. This not only undermines the experiences of autistic individuals but also perpetuates a cycle of misunderstanding and neglect.

As we delve deeper into this topic, it becomes increasingly clear that acknowledging the reality of autistic burnout is crucial for creating a more inclusive and understanding society. By recognising and validating the experiences of those affected by autistic burnout, we can begin to dismantle the stigma that surrounds it and create a supportive environment that allows individuals to express their struggles without fear of judgment or dismissal.

While the analogy of man flu serves as an interesting starting point for exploring societal perceptions of health and wellbeing, it ultimately highlights a broader issue: the need for greater awareness and understanding of experiences like autistic burnout that are often overlooked. Autistic burnout deserves our serious consideration and compassion. It is essential for society to shift its focus towards acknowledging the complexities of neurodiversity and the unique challenges faced by autistic individuals. By encouraging a more inclusive dialogue, prioritising the voices of those who experience autistic burnout, we can begin to abolish the barriers that prevent the acknowledgment of autistic burnout and ensure that all individuals receive the recognition and support they truly deserve.

How Can We Recover From Autistic Burnout?

I wish there were simple recovery steps I could share with you on overcoming autistic burnout, strategies that are straightforward and easy to follow, leading you back to the vibrant selves you once knew. However, the reality of recovery is far more complex and nuanced than that. It is essential to cultivate realistic expectations for this journey, which is a slow, testing process filled with uncertainty. There may be times when we feel lost; we may find ourselves grappling with an unfamiliar world, where answers are elusive or may not exist at all, and control is nowhere to be found.

One crucial point I must emphasise is the importance of self-belief. We must hold onto the conviction that we can navigate through these challenging periods. We may emerge on the other side transformed; we may not return to our former selves, but learning to embrace this evolution is an integral part of the healing process. There will be moments when this belief feels like our only lifeline, especially when intrusive thoughts, including suicidal ideation, seem to lurk just beneath the surface. Yet, we must remind ourselves that we have already defied societal expectations—simply by existing as we are—so we must ask ourselves: what other obstacles can we not conquer?

Currently, I am still navigating through the depths of autistic burnout, and what keeps me afloat is this unwavering belief in my own resilience. I cling to this conviction with all my might, trusting that the feisty, spirited version of myself is still somewhere within, waiting to be rediscovered. At the same time, if that version of me is no longer available, I will learn to accept this aspect of my evolving identity.

We must remind ourselves that we have already defied societal expectations—simply by existing as we are—so we must ask ourselves: what other obstacles can we not conquer?

In a previous post, I shared a humorous take on the topic of Recognising Signs of Autistic Burnout and Recovery Strategies: Overcoming the Invisible Struggle, which you are more than welcome to explore as well before diving into the process of crafting your own unique steps that align with your individual neurological makeup. However, if you find yourself in a place where humour feels too distant or inappropriate, you can just read this post to uncover actionable steps that may work for you.

Initial Big Steps: Tackling the Immediate Impacts

To effectively address the immediate effects of autistic burnout requires a careful, thoughtful approach. Some initial steps include:

Prioritising Rest

This means giving yourself permission to slow down and recharge, allowing your mind and body to recover from the intense exhaustion linked to burnout. Break free from the cycle of constant activity, driven by work obligations, social commitments, and personal ambitions. Instead, focus on incorporating physical, mental, emotional, and social rest. Replenishing your energy reserves might involve reducing daily demands, such as getting adequate sleep, adjusting your work schedule, or realistically managing family expectations, prioritising your own wellbeing over attending to others.

Identifying Sensory Triggers

By identifying what exacerbates your stress or discomfort, you can take proactive measures to minimise these stimuli in your environment. This might include small adjustments, such as using blinds to block sunlight, adjusting the water temperature in your shower, opting for more user-friendly cutlery, turning down the volume of the TV, or consistently choosing ultra-soft cotton sweatshirts and joggers.

Creating Boundaries

Boundaries serve as guidelines or limits that help define what is acceptable behaviour from others and what you are willing to accept in your interactions. These can be physical, emotional, or psychological. Limiting unnecessary interaction can create a space for recovery, and establishing healthy boundaries around social engagements helps conserve energy and focus on self-care. In my case, dealing with physical injury and autistic burnout means my recovery involves no socialising. Even on days when I can walk my fur baby, I avoid interacting with people but gladly engage with other dogs.

Implementing a Structured Routine

The normal routine might not be the same as before, as you are evolving, leading to a new "normal" that provides a sense of stability and predictability. This can be incredibly reassuring during difficult times. Whether it's eating the same food at the same time, wearing specific clothes on certain days, having different working hours, or consistently going to bed at 9 p.m. every night, one major benefit of having a structured routine is the reduction of decision fatigue. With a set schedule, we are less likely to spend excessive time pondering what to do next. This clarity allows us to use our time and energy more efficiently, enabling us to focus on tasks that require deeper concentration and creativity.

Focusing On Self-Care Practices

Personalised self-care practices are essential for maintaining physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing. In an allistic world where demands on our energy and cognitive function often leave us feeling drained, prioritising self-care acts as a vital counterbalance. Incorporating self-care into your daily routine—whether through mindfulness practices like yoga or other gentle repetitive movements, maintaining a balanced diet, or simply allowing yourself to do nothing for stress reduction—can greatly aid in recovery. Understanding that taking time for oneself is crucial for sustaining energy and resilience in everyday life is important. It is about acknowledging your own needs and taking small steps to meet them, and it is perfectly fine to revisit and adjust these practices as you evolve.

The Ongoing Practice: Building Sustainable Peace Through Small Steps

Once you begin to feel a sense of calm and can take deeper breaths again, you can shift your focus towards creating a life that is sustainable and less prone to burnout. This involves actively crafting a world that works for you, one that truly aligns with your needs and preferences. This might involve developing the following steps:

Grounding Techniques

Grounding techniques are psychological strategies personalised to anchor us in the present, especially during times of burnout. They promote stability and calmness when we loss hope, experience stress or overwhelming emotions, redirecting our focus from negative thoughts that may spiral into anxiety or panic. By creating a mental barrier against intrusive thoughts, these techniques reduce the intensity of our emotional responses. This practice not only builds emotional resilience but also improves our ability to handle challenging situations in daily life. Implementing grounding techniques into daily routines can include activities like pranayama breathing, listening to calming or metal music, or enjoying familiar scents. I dedicate time in the evening to pet and groom my furry baby, grounding myself while showing him love.

Creating a Sensory-Friendly Environment

After identifying sensory triggers, creating a sensory-friendly environment can help prevent further burnout. This may involve modifying physical spaces by lowering noise levels, using soft lighting, or offering textured objects for tactile exploration. Additionally, setting up reminders for sensory breaks can assist in managing our responses to overwhelming stimuli. By crafting an environment that aligns with sensory needs, we can achieve greater comfort and focus, ultimately improving our overall long-term wellbeing.

Rediscovering Special Interests

As burnout progresses, we often find ourselves in survival mode, overshadowing the passions that once defined us. Rediscovering is more than reigniting an old hobby; it can lead to new passions, reshape our identities, and provide purpose during this transformative experience. Consider activities that once excited you or new topics that spark your curiosity. It is time to experiment and gradually reintroduce these activities into your life. For instance, if cooking brings you joy, dedicate some time each week to explore it again. If reading is your passion, create a list of intriguing books and commit to a regular reading schedule.

Personally, due to questionable living conditions resulting from negligent construction work in my home, I turned to writing and started this blog to capture my thoughts and perspectives, which became a new passion for me. As you rediscover, it is important to stay open to change. Your interests may evolve, and that is perfectly okay. Give yourself the freedom to explore new avenues and adapt your focus as needed. This flexibility can lead to unexpected discoveries and a richer experience. The joy of creating, learning, or simply participating in something you love can reignite your enthusiasm for life and inspire you to pursue new challenges.

Grieving the Losses

Allow yourself to grieve the losses that come with this experience. Grieving is often the hardest part of recovering from autistic burnout, as the loss can seem like the death of the most cherished aspects of your identity. The characteristics, skills, and abilities that once defined you may seem to have vanished, leaving you feeling disoriented and disconnected. Acknowledge these feelings of loss and give yourself the grace to grieve. There is no fixed timeline; while society often expects us to return to normalcy within a few months, the reality is that grief can persist for years, with certain events triggering a resurgence, reminding us of our losses. Embracing this grief, rather than attempting to suppress it, can lead to a deeper understanding and appreciation for what we have lost. I have included a small segment below on Grieving the Losses of Autistic Burnout in the next section if this is something you have also struggled with.

Reconnecting With Your Identity

Reconnecting with your identity requires digging into the core of who you are, uncovering the values, beliefs, and passions that might have been eclipsed by autistic burnout. This process includes cultural background, personal experiences, social roles, and the aspirations that shape who you are. It is important to understand that identity is not static; it evolves as you heal, learn, and adapt to new experiences. This fluidity can be both challenging and liberating. Taking the time to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and experiences can offer valuable insights into your true self.

Societal expectations can often cloud our understanding of our own identity. The pressure to conform to certain norms or ideals leads us to mask our true selves. Reconnecting with your identity requires the courage to challenge these external pressures and embrace your uniqueness. This process might involve establishing clear boundaries with others, prioritising your needs, and allowing yourself to express your true feelings and opinions. Reconnecting with your identity is not a one-time event but an ongoing process of growth and exploration. As you continue to evolve, it’s essential to remain open to new experiences and perspectives that can further shape your self-appreciation. The path is yours, so you can come to a connection that works for you, whether it involves discovering new interests, redefining your goals, or ultimately living a life more aligned with your authentic self.

Grieving the Losses of Autistic Burnout

Grieving, for me, is one of the toughest parts of recovering from autistic burnout. It carries a deep emotional weight that can be incredibly draining. The sense of loss I experience is like the profound sorrow felt when a beloved person passes away, except that the person I mourn is myself. It's about losing parts of my identity—those cherished traits, sense of humour, hard-earned skills, unique faculties, career and business aspirations, and talents that have shaped who I am over the years. Each of these elements has contributed to my sense of self, and losing them feels as though they have evaporated into oblivion without a chance for a proper farewell, leaving behind an emptiness that is both disorienting and painful. This grieving process is not just about mourning what was lost; it also involves learning to honour those aspects of myself that have defined my path so far, while at the same time embracing the new possibilities ahead. It is a delicate balance between holding onto the past and welcoming the future, which can be overwhelming and unpredictable.

Through this road to recovery, it is essential to be gentle with yourself, allowing ample space for both grief and growth. The emotional landscape can be unpredictable, and it is important to acknowledge that recovery is not a linear path; it is filled with ups, downs, and diagonal turns, and that’s perfectly okay. Each step you take, no matter how small, is a testament to your strength and resilience. It is vital to recognise that feeling lost or disheartened at times is a natural part of the process. Embrace the paths that unfold before you, and trust that you are capable of navigating through the complexities of autistic burnout, emerging stronger and more self-aware on the other side.

Engaging in self-reflection during this period can be highly beneficial. Journaling or creative expression can be powerful tools to articulate feelings that may be difficult to voice. By documenting your experiences, you may uncover patterns or insights that help clarify your evolving identity. Additionally, exploring new interests or rekindling old ones can provide a sense of purpose and direction as you redefine who you are in this new chapter. Remember, it is entirely valid to grieve the loss of your former self while also being open to the growth that comes with change. The balance between grief and renewal is a testament to the complexity of the human experience, especially for those of us navigating the intricate realities of autistic burnout.

Autistic Burnout Life: Stay Grounded in Reality, Not False Hope

Do not be fooled by the fleeting glimpses of hope that may occasionally appear on your recovery path and jump straight back to the grind. I certainly fell into that trap myself, and I can assure you that it can lead you straight back down into the depths of autistic burnout. The reality of navigating life during autistic burnout is that the experience is not linear; it is marked by significant fluctuations that can be influenced by a myriad of factors.

These fluctuations are deeply rooted in the complexities of our nervous system, which is often in a heightened state of alertness or sensitivity. This heightened state can be exacerbated by physical changes, such as fatigue, injury, illness, or even changes in routine, which can throw our already delicate balance into disarray. Additionally, brain chemistry plays a crucial role in how we process our environment and emotions. Neurotransmitters that regulate mood and stress can fluctuate, impacting our overall emotional state and leading to feelings of overwhelm or despair.

It is essential to acknowledge that these experiences are not just personal struggles; they are a reflection of the broader challenges faced by autistic individuals. Society often lacks the understanding and compassion needed to support us through these difficult times. Therefore, it becomes imperative that we cultivate patience within ourselves. We must learn to navigate these ups and downs with a sense of understanding and self-acceptance that is often absent in our interactions with the allistic world.

In moments of difficulty, it is vital to offer ourselves the compassion that we have long sought from others. This self-compassion is not merely a luxury; it is a necessity for mental and emotional well-being. Acknowledging our struggles and allowing ourselves the grace to feel what we feel can be transformative. By doing so, we create a safe space for healing and growth, enabling us to better manage the challenges that arise from our unique neurological makeup.

In conclusion, while the road may be filled with obstacles and setbacks, it is important to hold onto the understanding that these experiences shape who we are. By accepting our vulnerabilities and treating ourselves with the kindness we deserve, we can face life's complexities with renewed resilience and hope.

What has been your experience with autistic burnout? How do you grief with the losses? I would really appreciate hearing about your experiences with autistic burnout.