How TV and Movies Guided Me as an Autistic Woman Since Childhood
- Beyond Quirky
- Jun 13
- 14 min read
Updated: Aug 19
How do autistic individuals watch TV shows and movies? With our eyes, of course! However, we adjust the TV settings to suit our preferences. On a more serious note, there is a difference in how we perceive TV shows and movies compared to neurotypical individuals. Just as we interact with the world in our own unique ways, we also experience media entertainment differently.
Since I was a child, television and movies have captivated my interest. I loved spending my free time in front of the TV, considering it as an ingenious device that offered me a wealth of knowledge. Knowledge itself is another passion of mine, and to my child self, TV appeared to offer an endless supply of information. I used TV shows to learn about daily life, societal expectations, humour, social skills, and much more.
In this post, I'll recount my personal experience with television and movies, highlighting how they supported me throughout my childhood as an undiagnosed autistic child, through my teenage years, and into adulthood when I finally received a formal autism diagnosis. I'll also offer my perspectives on the benefits of TV and movies for autistic individuals.
How TV Helped My Autistic Childhood Mind
Let's start by discussing the sensory experience, as this has always been important to me, even when I was a child. Although I wasn't aware of the autistic label back then, I clearly knew what I liked and disliked, earning me the nickname of the fussy little girl. I was often described as choosy, finicky, or picky. Growing up in Asia, such bluntness was common, and if you're curious about these expressions in Cantonese, here are some examples: 過份挑剔, 挑三揀四, 過份講究, 揀飲擇食, etc.
Being a visual learner, I observed my family using the TV remote control when I was a child. This inspired me to experiment with the remote myself, figuring out the function of each button by examining the icons. I would then adjust the television settings to suit my needs, which often irritated my uncle, prompting him to tell me to stop messing around with his TV.
I believe that my sensory sensitivities motivated me to learn how to modify my surroundings to reduce discomfort. If you notice other children doing similar things, they might simply be trying to minimise sensory overload in their own unique way. In my opinion, this is a smart behaviour that should be praised, rather than assuming the child is misbehaving.
Going back to the TV settings and ways to enhance an already enjoyable activity. Personally, I prefer to watch a screen that isn't too bright, so I adjust the brightness to ensure it's not too intense. Following with the colour settings, I'm very sensitive to colour, so I ensure that the TV's saturation is at its optimal and natural vibrancy. I also initially set the volume based on the genre of the show and then fine-tune it during the first few minutes as needed.
As a child, I was mostly interested in educational programs, wildlife documentaries, and animations. However, I also cherished watching TV with my beloved Grandmother (婆婆), who preferred drama series centred on family dynamics. I'll explore each category and reflect on the lessons learned from them.
Why Learning at Home is the Ultimate Distraction-Free Zone?
The TV educational programs I watched as a child were closely aligned with the school curriculum, covering the usual suspects like Chinese, English, Mathematics, Science, Health Education, Social Studies, Art and Crafts, etc.
As I mentioned earlier, knowledge is one of my special interests, and I have consistently needed to absorb information—basically, I'm a knowledge-hungry sponge on a quest for educational enlightenment. This thirst for knowledge has persisted into my adulthood, leading to many Google rabbit holes that I can only describe as "research".
The main advantage of these TV educational programs is that they allow for learning with minimal external distractions, as I am nestled in the cozy confines of my grandparent's home. Who wouldn’t want to learn algebra while being serenaded by just the gentle hum of a TV or the comforting aroma of grandmother's cooking?
In contrast, at school, we might be distracted by various environmental factors that could make even the most hyper-focused student lose their train of thought. Here are just a few contenders in the distraction arena:
The Open Windows: Ah yes, the sweet smell of fresh air mixed with the faint aroma of the curried fish balls from the famous street food stalls across the road. How can one focus on geometry with the cravings for a bowl of delicious snacks?
Classmates' Sound Challenge: Nothing says "focus" like classmates writing loudly in their notebooks. It's like a symphony of scribbles. If you listen carefully, you can almost hear the notebooks whispering, "Help! I'm being punished!"
The Comfort Level of the Chair: Is it really a chair? Or is it a torture device?
Air Conditioning: That glorious chill that makes you feel like you’re in the Arctic while questioning if you should have worn thermal to school.
The Speed of Information Delivery: Why compete with 59 other students to receive the information in the speed of inconsistency? The sole focus of the TV is just me, it's a whole new level of comprehension!
Childhood Curiosity: The Science of Animal Friends
Wildlife documentaries satisfy my childhood curiosity about science and animals, serving as a way to discover facts and information about animals, plants, and their habitats. Plus, it includes the occasional dramatised behaviours of our natural world for entertainment.
As an adult, my passions for science and animals continue to thrive. I frequently watch science documentaries and, even more importantly, YouTube videos featuring furry animals—there's nothing quite as relaxing as watching a red panda attempt to open a door, making animal videos a key part of my self-care routine. Additionally, I have a degree in computer science, so my interests have evolved into a career path.
It's More Than Just Cartoons
In my childhood, I considered animation to be a more sensory-friendly experience compared to TV shows featuring real people. The concepts are straightforward, and the exaggerated expressions are like a comedy club for my eyeballs—pure entertainment without the need to decode subtle social signals.
I was always fully absorbed in the messages of the animations; they were like an early version of TED Talks. They taught me about moral values, societal norms, and emotions—illustrating how to balance them while watching a cat and a mouse in epic battles to outsmart each other. If that’s not a life lesson, I don’t know what is!
The sensory-friendly and emotionally supportive nature of animation was much easier for my autistic childhood mind. Here are some highlights:
Unique Characters: They are easily identifiable with unique physical features or distinct personalities—like each character in Doraemon.
Colour Gradient: Colours in animation are vibrant yet perfectly balanced, unlike the intensity of our real world; it's beautiful, but there's more colour to process than in an animated video. Kiki's Delivery Service is one of the best examples of colour usage.
Simple Scenery: Pom Poko portrays busy environments using simple and essential elements, complemented by soft lighting that eases the visual load of busy streets, neon lights, and unnecessary extras. It effectively demonstrates the hectic lifestyle through its scenery without overwhelming my child self.
Sensory Stimulation: Animation is a great addition to my needs for sensory stimulation, engaging my sight, hearing, and movement. I especially loved animations with colourful opening sequences and catchy theme tunes that allow me to sing along and create my own dance moves. Chibi Maruko-chan was one of my absolute favourites.
Thoughtful Soundscape: The music in animations is more considerate, which is perfect for when my hearing is sensitive. Plus, the voiceovers are very clear, free from distracting background noise. One of my favourites is Studio Ghibli Relaxing Music.
A Date with My Grandmother and the TV Family Drama
This category isn't really my favourite, but my grandmother is my absolute favourite person, and I'd do anything for her, even enduring the overly dramatic dialogues that increase my stimming. However, the snacks we share help lessen my stimming since my mouth is occupied with repetitive movements.
The benefit of these complex emotional dramas is that they help me grasp expressions, emotions, and expectations through music or the intensity of the actors' voices. For instance, in a sad scene, background music is used to convey sadness. I would then observe the actors' expressions to understand the emotions. Likewise, if there is suspense, the change in music alerts me to look for clues in the surroundings.
Watching these family dramas with my grandmother taught me to focus on different elements of TV shows when I'm unable to watch my favourite ones, such as background music, scenery, subtitles, clothing, use of language, and more. This ability has enabled me to enjoy quality time with loved ones while still attending to my own needs since childhood. It has also given me a deep appreciation for the effort involved in behind-the-scenes production.
Is Screen Time Still on Trial?
There is stigma associated with too much screen time. However, for those of us who are autistic, typical human social interactions can be confusing. So, how else can we learn social skills? Let's use wildlife documentaries as an example: many primates learn to become primates by observing others.
Since watching real humans on a rock (park bench) in our birthday suits, like primates, is no longer socially acceptable, we miss the opportunity to understand the intricacies of others' daily lives. We prefer to learn by exploring the details of a particular subject rather than just getting a superficial overview.
Many of us have been harnessing the power of TV shows to help us be the ultimate primate since we first realised we're different from the other kids. So for us, it's not the screen time we need to worry about; it's trying not to apply the wrong scripted response. Television also offered a structure and predictability for me as a child and teenager, as the programs were prescheduled, so every day at the same times I'd have something to look forward to seeing and learning.
Gaining Insights into Humour and Life Lessons from TV and Movies
Growing up, I enjoyed watching many dramas with comedic elements, including The Deer and the Cauldron (鹿鼎記) and Journey to the West (西游記). These TV adaptations of historical novels blend comedy and martial arts, drawing on historical events, dynasty settings, and mythological figures as their backdrops. I also had a lot of fun watching variety shows like Super Trio (獎門人).
Journey to the West
This Journey to the West TV series is an adaptation of a classic Chinese mythology novel. It features the Monkey King, also known as Sun Wukong (孫悟空 Syun Nghung), who is famous for his intelligence, rebellious and mischievous nature, short temper, as well as his loyalty and bravery. He often uses his abilities to assist those in need, but others view him as a troublemaker who must be suppressed and confined.
Monkey King possesses supernatural strength, an exceptional memory, transformation skills, and more. He travels with two other misfits Pigsy (猪八戒) and Sandy (沙悟淨), each with their own unique special powers, to assist the monk Tang Sanzang in his quest to find scriptures in the West.
Since childhood, I haven't found many characters I can relate to, but the Monkey King has always resonated with me. Often misunderstood by others, his unconventional behaviour leads to him being seen as wrong in every situation, despite his efforts. His abilities are appreciated only when combined with his undeniable loyalty and bravery in aiding the monk; otherwise, he must mask his true nature and powers.
Throughout my life, I have deeply related to his humour, intelligence, memory, loyalty, shapeshifting, and bravery, yet often feel misunderstood. While these traits are valuable, I often realise too late if others are exploiting them. Despite how beneficial my unique qualities have been, the moment I stop adapting to please others, my intelligence, along with other abilities, are perceived as short-tempered or misbehaviour.
Growing up watching the comedic and quirky trio of Monkey King, Pigsy, and Sandy in the TV series taught me that being different is simply that, and the best approach is to wholeheartedly embrace it. Each character brings a distinct set of skills, humour, and quirky communication methods, keeping the quest fun while achieving their mission.
Watching Journey to the West taught me more about embracing my individuality, friendships, recognising my abilities, moral values, and social interactions than I had learned in my entire life. It's impressive that Wu Cheng'en (吳承恩), the original author, had such insights in the 16th century, creating a timeless masterpiece for future generations.
Stephen Chow (The King of Comedy)
Another significant influence is Stephen Chow (周星馳), an actor, writer, producer, director, and filmmaker renowned for his mo lei tau (無厘頭), or nonsensical humour. His distinctive comedic perspective on life and his parodies of serious topics have made me laugh throughout my childhood, teenage years, and even into adulthood.
His movies often focused on characters who are misunderstood, viewed as outcasts, or seen as underdogs by society. Watching his movies during my childhood and teens was not only entertaining, offering me endless hours of belly laughs and references that inspired me to approach situations from different perspectives. They also served as valuable lessons in embracing my quirks, not taking myself too seriously, and realising that sometimes a shift in perspective is all it takes.
I highly valued his earlier work as an actor, where he infused each movie with his distinct personality and humour. His later ventures as a writer and director have introduced even more intriguing concepts. I believe these movies wouldn't have the same impact without his participation, such as:
Later, Stephen Chow served up a complete experience, enhancing the amusement for those of us who grew up enjoying his humour. Utilising his unique talents, he created timeless classics that continued to bring me laughter, even after I moved to the UK. However, it was quite challenging to find his movies here back then. Here's a short list of the full experience from Stephen Chow:
Lessons I Learned from Stephen Chow's Movies
Stephen Chow's movies often showcase characters driven by a passion, highlighting the importance of pursuing one's dreams despite facing significant obstacles. Having been undiagnosed with autism for much of my life, I resonated with these characters and absorbed the valuable lessons from these movies. I have encountered many adversities and struggles throughout my life, but once I set my mind on a goal, I persist through challenges and setbacks to achieve my dreams.
Another important lesson from these movies is finding joy in the ordinary, appreciating the beauty of simple moments, everyday mundane things, and those around us who share our experiences. Since I was a child, I've been able to find immense joy in the simplest things, a trait I credit to my identity and the TV shows and movies I watched. These movies made me laugh so much that tears would run down my face, and I'd roll on the floor, even though my laughter was silent. Yep! That's how I really laugh when something is extremely funny.
I also discovered the importance of determination and self-belief, realising that I can defy expectations and carve my own path by embracing my individuality and following my own instincts, despite being different from the norm.
What If TV and Movies Featured True Autistic Female Representations
After receiving an autism diagnosis last year, I often wonder what it would be like if TV and movies accurately portrayed autistic female characters. I've always valued characters such as the Monkey King and the narratives in Stephen Chow's movies, which I revisit whenever I feel out of place. Nonetheless, I tend to dismiss these experiences as hurdles for my optimism to overcome.
Reflecting on the past, I now recognise instances where I was on the verge of a realisation, as the characters I watch on TV are somewhat similar to me but not entirely. Although I noticed some familiar traits, I couldn't fully relate to other glaring aspects depicted in the shows. These characters are often shown as laughing stock, nerdy, sources of annoyance, or individuals who are rude and in need of correction.
One of my favourite shows that comes to mind is The Big Bang Theory, a comedy series focused on geeky and socially awkward characters who share interests in science, comic books, and video games. This dynamic reminded me of my teenage group of friends. I noticed some similarities with Sheldon but couldn't fully relate to him; however, when Amy was introduced, I found her character much more relatable. I consider myself as a blend of Amy and Sheldon, with a 3:2 ratio, but without many of their traits, which has become a running joke among my friends and me.
Amy was portrayed as a coldly rational and emotionally detached character, traits that many people disliked. However, I absolutely loved her, and her traits resonated with me. In any situation or when encountered with bad news, I always prioritise logic and information, believing that emotion is unnecessary since it doesn't serve a purpose when we need to focus on solutions. But I wasn't socially awkward or lacking in tact, and I didn't realise there was a term I needed to explore or that scientists had been baffled by these different representations for decades. Plus, I later discovered that the show's creators haven't officially labelled the characters as autistic, they describe the quirks and mannerisms as comedic and exaggerated personality traits, not an autism representation.
When I began watching Young Sheldon, a prequel exploring Sheldon's early life, I noticed even more similarities between my childhood self and young Sheldon. This rekindled my suspicions, as his traits closely resembled mine before I learned to mask based on situations and social dynamics. This was quite surprising to me, as I had attributed many of my nuances to cultural differences for years, yet Sheldon is a white boy from East Texas, and I'm an Asian girl grew up in Far East Asia living in London. I couldn't believe the resemblance, and it piqued my interest once more. Additionally, I felt a connection with Paige, Sheldon's nemesis, who is incredibly smart yet still felt like an outsider. Her emotional intelligence surpasses Sheldon's, yet she didn't feel like she truly belonged, a sentiment I have experienced throughout my life. A girl misunderstood due to her intelligence, yet underestimated because we are girls.
Once again, I brushed aside the shared traits with fictional characters, seeing it as the show is teaching a common yet unjust experience for girls and women in a male-dominated field. Despite the presence of traits, the term autism never dared to emerge, leaving the clue insufficient for my curious mind. I recognised this as the tech industry, where I have dedicated many years advocating for women in tech. Besides, life is always too busy for self-reflection, leading me to dismiss the need to explore further.
It's only when the pandemic hits, I reluctantly closed my business because the government ordered the whole country to stay indoors. At first, I was unsure about how to fill my time, as I wasn't used to taking breaks. However, I soon realised how much I appreciated the lockdown. I found comfort in being fully excused from the social aspects of my professional life and no longer having to socialise in pubs during my free time. I could simply enjoy the solace of my own company, along with my partner and fur baby.
The pandemic and Netflix played a vital role in my realisation of being autistic. I even suspect that Netflix's algorithm recognised my autistic identity before I did, as it suggested many series with autistic characters during that time. The algorithm studied my keen interest in Asian content, and soon my partner's Netflix homepage was dominated by K-dramas, Asian variety shows, Taiwanese series, and Asian movies. During the intermittent phases of the pandemic, I explored Netflix's recommended list and watched these series featuring autistic characters, such as:
This time, I couldn't attribute to cultural differences since these characters share my culture. Yet, the representations are once again similar, though not identical. The striking fact is that I connected with these characters more than with anything else I've ever watched. These TV series guided me on a reflective tour back to my childhood, when these traits were more prominent, before the masks took over me in adulthood. It was at that point I decided to finally dedicate time to exploring this aspect of my identity, refusing to dismiss my suspicions just because fictional characters are based on stereotypes.
The TV shows and movies mentioned in this post played a significant step in supporting my path toward an autism diagnosis. Whether they became my intense interest, showcased characters searching for a place for their individuality, were heavily coded as autistic, or proudly attempted a representation of autism, each contributed to my unique quest. Although, they may not accurately represent autistic girls and women, I trust that most of us autistic females are astute enough to figure it out on our own eventually.
Nonetheless, accurate and authentic representation of the diverse spectrum of autistic identities is so important. By showcasing true representation of neurodiversity and embracing authentic autistic identities on our screens, we can reduce misconceptions about our appearances, stereotypes, and the reasons behind frequent misdiagnoses. Media have the power to help create a more inclusive environments for those still in search of authentic representation on screen.
Without these narratives in our media culture, I would still be seeking ways to fill the gaps in my undiagnosed and misunderstood autistic identity. Instead, I am proudly sharing my lived experiences to be part of the voice in breaking down stereotypes and shifting outdated perceptions of autism. It's a dream we can all help turn into reality. As Stephen Chow famously said, "做人如果沒夢想，那跟鹹魚有什麼分別?", which translates to "If you live without a dream, what is the difference between you and a salted fish?"
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